Kismet (noun) -fate or destiny.
The belief that everything in life and death is predetermined, and even if you turn the clock backward, you might be able to reverse the order but you can’t change the outcome.
The year 2008 is near its end. Time certainly didn't fly for me nor did it drag on. I was able to enjoy things and appreciate life - something that I often find myself forgetting to do. The year started out pretty rocky for me, but halfway through it, my luck took a complete 180, and I honestly couldn't be happier.
In January, I had been living with my boyfriend of three years for nearly a full year. We were young, but we honestly thought that we were going to get married. He was the first guy that I loved - regardless of how my family felt about him. I was under a lot of stress because he was unemployed and we had a lot of bills to pay. We managed, but all the stress changed the way that I looked at him.
I know that money doesn't matter, but I was the one paying all the bills and when I'd ask him for help around the apartment, it never got done. I guess that I felt that if he couldn't help me with something as simple as putting the dishes away, there is no way that he would be able to support me or be there for me in times of trouble later on in life, as silly as that may sound to you.
Fast forward to February. My friends at work had been asking me to go out for nearly an entire year, but I always made excuses. Either I didn't have my ID or I was too tired. Bars were just not my scene. However, the week of my birthday, they asked if I'd go out. I told them that I couldn't, but I promised them that I'd go with them the following Friday. For the next week, I tried to think of excuses to get out of it, but I decided to just go out. Danny was still unemployed and I needed some time to myself and to just have a good time without having to worry too much about stuff.
Shortly after we arrived at Pooley's, a group of four guys walked into the bar. They sat across the bar from us, but I noticed one guy staring at me. He was handsome, so I thought that maybe I was wrong. However, a few minutes later, the bartender came over to us and told us the guys wanted to buy us ladies a round.
A few minutes later two of the guys came over and introduced themselves. As soon as the guy that had been staring at me introduced himself as "Jeffrey," I seriously thought, "Oh shit!" You see, a few weeks prior to that night, I had asked Allie's pregnant friend what she was going to name her baby. If it was a boy, she chose the name Reid Jeffrey. At that moment, I decided that I really loved the name Jeffrey and thought about the Jeffs that I'd met over the years. I kept that name in my head and thought about it often. That was a little weird to me.
Anyway, Jeff and I sat and talked until closing time. I had too much to drink. At one point in time, he told me that he thought I was gorgeous. I leaned over and told Denyse what'd he'd said. When she told me that I am, I remember saying something like, "Yeah right, he's just a guy. Don't worry. I love my boyfriend."
We really hit it off, but I didn't think that anything would become of it. He was only in WI for 45 days on TDY. So, I figured that I'd never see him or hear from him again. When he asked for my number at the end of the night, I gave it to him. Yes, I knew it was wrong, but I am so glad that I did it.
As things progressed between Jeff and me, things declined between me and Danny. I asked my mom and Allie for a lot of advice. I was very shocked when they both told me to give things a try with Jeff. At the beginning of March, after a conversation with Jeff about how things couldn't progress if I was still living with Danny, I moved back home.
We were still unsure about what would happen once he left, but we enjoyed every minute that we had together. We basically decided to see where things led.
My mom invited Jeff to our family's Easter dinner. Everyone seemed to like him, and he liked the family. I was so excited to actually have a boyfriend that my parents approved of. That had never happened before when it came to the guys that I brought home.
During this time, I also became BFF's with Milo, another guy that came to WI on TDY from Phoenix.
The night before Jeff left, he told me that he loved me for the very first time. I drove him to the airport the morning of the 26th and was pretty heartbroken that he was gone.
By the end of April, my parents had already booked a flight for me to Phoenix. In June, I spent two weeks in Phoenix with Jeff. Though Jeff and I had talked about the possibility of me staying, we decided that I needed to go back to WI to get my ducks in a row.
By the end of July or the beginning of August, we had already decided to move in together. So, I worked crazy hours and saved my money so that I could drive to Phoenix. At the time, we planned on me leaving on September 23rd. However, he found out at the beginning of September that his friends wouldn't be out of their house (the one that we were taking over) until November 1st. So, we pushed the date back. I wasn't going to go until the beginning of November, but we came to a compromise and decided that I should leave on October 15th. Sure, that meant that we'd have to stay on base until his friends moved, but that didn't matter.
I watched my handsome nephews turn one in August and October. I still can't believe how quickly they grew up. I miss them a ton and dream of them often.
I was finally able to consult with a dietician in October and together we managed to get my eating habits under control. I am eating better than I ever have in my life, and I have managed to lose over five pounds since I moved here. I feel like a whole new person now that I don't feel like food is controlling me.
My dad and I left on October 15th. I met him in Albert Lea, MN. That was the first time that I crossed the state line on my own. It was a small feat, but I felt very independent at that moment - despite the fact that my dad had to lead the way to Phoenix. It took three days to get to Phoenix. I did a lot of thinking and soul-searching along the way. I was so nervous. I hadn't seen Jeff in nearly four months, and I just prayed that I was making the right decision.
The minute that I got there, I knew that I'd done the right thing. I was so happy.
At the end of October, we traveled to Utah and went hiking at Zion National Park with some of Jeff's friends and his cousin, Spencer. We had a blast.
At the beginning of November, we celebrated Jeff's birthday. We had dinner and I made him cherry cheesecake. We also were celebrating the fact that we no longer had to stay in a motel on base. The house was finally ours.
A week or two later, we went to PetSmart on a whim. There happened to be several people there selling dogs. The first dog that I noticed was sound asleep. Neither me petting him or the fact that all the other puppies trampling him seemed to bother him. He didn't even stir. At first I was worried that he was sick, but he eventually perked up and even Jeff was in love. We had to take him home.
Milo left around the 15th of November to Germany - where he will be stationed for the next few years. I miss him.
We've had a lot of fun together since I got here and I've had a blast getting to know his friends.
The belief that everything in life and death is predetermined, and even if you turn the clock backward, you might be able to reverse the order but you can’t change the outcome.
The year 2008 is near its end. Time certainly didn't fly for me nor did it drag on. I was able to enjoy things and appreciate life - something that I often find myself forgetting to do. The year started out pretty rocky for me, but halfway through it, my luck took a complete 180, and I honestly couldn't be happier.
In January, I had been living with my boyfriend of three years for nearly a full year. We were young, but we honestly thought that we were going to get married. He was the first guy that I loved - regardless of how my family felt about him. I was under a lot of stress because he was unemployed and we had a lot of bills to pay. We managed, but all the stress changed the way that I looked at him.
I know that money doesn't matter, but I was the one paying all the bills and when I'd ask him for help around the apartment, it never got done. I guess that I felt that if he couldn't help me with something as simple as putting the dishes away, there is no way that he would be able to support me or be there for me in times of trouble later on in life, as silly as that may sound to you.
Fast forward to February. My friends at work had been asking me to go out for nearly an entire year, but I always made excuses. Either I didn't have my ID or I was too tired. Bars were just not my scene. However, the week of my birthday, they asked if I'd go out. I told them that I couldn't, but I promised them that I'd go with them the following Friday. For the next week, I tried to think of excuses to get out of it, but I decided to just go out. Danny was still unemployed and I needed some time to myself and to just have a good time without having to worry too much about stuff.
Shortly after we arrived at Pooley's, a group of four guys walked into the bar. They sat across the bar from us, but I noticed one guy staring at me. He was handsome, so I thought that maybe I was wrong. However, a few minutes later, the bartender came over to us and told us the guys wanted to buy us ladies a round.
A few minutes later two of the guys came over and introduced themselves. As soon as the guy that had been staring at me introduced himself as "Jeffrey," I seriously thought, "Oh shit!" You see, a few weeks prior to that night, I had asked Allie's pregnant friend what she was going to name her baby. If it was a boy, she chose the name Reid Jeffrey. At that moment, I decided that I really loved the name Jeffrey and thought about the Jeffs that I'd met over the years. I kept that name in my head and thought about it often. That was a little weird to me.
Anyway, Jeff and I sat and talked until closing time. I had too much to drink. At one point in time, he told me that he thought I was gorgeous. I leaned over and told Denyse what'd he'd said. When she told me that I am, I remember saying something like, "Yeah right, he's just a guy. Don't worry. I love my boyfriend."
We really hit it off, but I didn't think that anything would become of it. He was only in WI for 45 days on TDY. So, I figured that I'd never see him or hear from him again. When he asked for my number at the end of the night, I gave it to him. Yes, I knew it was wrong, but I am so glad that I did it.
As things progressed between Jeff and me, things declined between me and Danny. I asked my mom and Allie for a lot of advice. I was very shocked when they both told me to give things a try with Jeff. At the beginning of March, after a conversation with Jeff about how things couldn't progress if I was still living with Danny, I moved back home.
We were still unsure about what would happen once he left, but we enjoyed every minute that we had together. We basically decided to see where things led.
My mom invited Jeff to our family's Easter dinner. Everyone seemed to like him, and he liked the family. I was so excited to actually have a boyfriend that my parents approved of. That had never happened before when it came to the guys that I brought home.
During this time, I also became BFF's with Milo, another guy that came to WI on TDY from Phoenix.
The night before Jeff left, he told me that he loved me for the very first time. I drove him to the airport the morning of the 26th and was pretty heartbroken that he was gone.
By the end of April, my parents had already booked a flight for me to Phoenix. In June, I spent two weeks in Phoenix with Jeff. Though Jeff and I had talked about the possibility of me staying, we decided that I needed to go back to WI to get my ducks in a row.
By the end of July or the beginning of August, we had already decided to move in together. So, I worked crazy hours and saved my money so that I could drive to Phoenix. At the time, we planned on me leaving on September 23rd. However, he found out at the beginning of September that his friends wouldn't be out of their house (the one that we were taking over) until November 1st. So, we pushed the date back. I wasn't going to go until the beginning of November, but we came to a compromise and decided that I should leave on October 15th. Sure, that meant that we'd have to stay on base until his friends moved, but that didn't matter.
I watched my handsome nephews turn one in August and October. I still can't believe how quickly they grew up. I miss them a ton and dream of them often.
I was finally able to consult with a dietician in October and together we managed to get my eating habits under control. I am eating better than I ever have in my life, and I have managed to lose over five pounds since I moved here. I feel like a whole new person now that I don't feel like food is controlling me.
My dad and I left on October 15th. I met him in Albert Lea, MN. That was the first time that I crossed the state line on my own. It was a small feat, but I felt very independent at that moment - despite the fact that my dad had to lead the way to Phoenix. It took three days to get to Phoenix. I did a lot of thinking and soul-searching along the way. I was so nervous. I hadn't seen Jeff in nearly four months, and I just prayed that I was making the right decision.
The minute that I got there, I knew that I'd done the right thing. I was so happy.
At the end of October, we traveled to Utah and went hiking at Zion National Park with some of Jeff's friends and his cousin, Spencer. We had a blast.
At the beginning of November, we celebrated Jeff's birthday. We had dinner and I made him cherry cheesecake. We also were celebrating the fact that we no longer had to stay in a motel on base. The house was finally ours.
A week or two later, we went to PetSmart on a whim. There happened to be several people there selling dogs. The first dog that I noticed was sound asleep. Neither me petting him or the fact that all the other puppies trampling him seemed to bother him. He didn't even stir. At first I was worried that he was sick, but he eventually perked up and even Jeff was in love. We had to take him home.
Milo left around the 15th of November to Germany - where he will be stationed for the next few years. I miss him.
We've had a lot of fun together since I got here and I've had a blast getting to know his friends.
On December 13th, I became an auntie x3 when Maddy Mae was born. I can't wait to meet her.
As you know, I celebrated my first Thanksgiving and Christmas without my family. However, I was able to meet Jeff's dad and brother, which was very exciting for me.
Though this year has had its rocky moments, I wouldn't change it for the world.
I can only hope that I'm as lucky in 2009. As January 1st approaches, I'll be thinking about what resolutions I'd like to make for the year. I am looking forward to finding out what the future has in store for Jeff and me.
As you know, I celebrated my first Thanksgiving and Christmas without my family. However, I was able to meet Jeff's dad and brother, which was very exciting for me.
Though this year has had its rocky moments, I wouldn't change it for the world.
I can only hope that I'm as lucky in 2009. As January 1st approaches, I'll be thinking about what resolutions I'd like to make for the year. I am looking forward to finding out what the future has in store for Jeff and me.
I wish you all health and happiness in the New Year!
1 comment:
Ash, I'm so glad you found happiness. You deserve it =) Best wishes for 2009!
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