I am so frustrated with myself! When I first moved here, I had my eating under control, or so I thought. I was watching portion sizes, choosing healthy alternatives, and actually felt full - or at least satisfied - when I ate, which I can honestly say is out of the norm for me.
For the last few weeks, I've continued doing well, but recently lost the sense of satiety when I finish eating. I don't necessarily feel hungry after I eat, but I feel like I still need something more in order to reach the "full" feeling that I associate with being done. I try my best to ignore it and just eat on schedule.
The weekends are a battle, though. During the week, I typically weigh-in at 166 by the end of the week. Then the weekend rolls around and we eat like crap, so I usually start the week out at 169. Yeah, water weight, I know. I have a very hard time differentiating between that and actual weight gain in my mind, though. I am terrified of weighing 170 again because I know that after 170 comes 180 and I've worked way to hard to be there again.
This week, I think that I had one good day. The others, not so much. On my high end of calories, I probably reached about 2,200 (my goal is about 1,600 calories a day) give or take a few. That is nothing compared to the binges that I was having up until October. I would easily consume that many calories in one sitting. No joke. Maybe even more sometimes.
Despite eating like poo, I've been getting up every morning to do Turbo Jam and eat oatmeal. So, I guess that I should be proud of myself for making those little changes.
Anyway, I probably ate around 2,000 calories tonight and feel hungry right now. I feel like a total blimp and was so worried, that I actually just went into the closet and tried on all my jeans to make sure they still fit.
What I'd do to think like a normal person. Ugh.
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